Welcome back to Briarworld …
I have recently determined that since I will be residing in the B-ham, the time has come for me to become more actively involved in a church. Step number one in this process is to find a Sunday School class to consistently go to. As I discussed this with my mom, she suggested that I go to the "Single’s" Class.
“No mom,” I said in my ‘What are you? Crazy?’ voice, “I’m not 'Single'.” For those of you who are thinking, “Emily, this is not an absurd suggestion; you are single”, let me just explain this to you real quick: I might be single, but I’m not "Single". What’s the difference? Well, let me tell you … "Single" (and I quote from my personal dictionary) = 1. really old and 2. extremely desperate (note: this dictionary reserves the right to change the aforesaid definition on an individual basis).
“Well, why don’t you try the Career and Graduate’s Class.” Now there’s a class that’s more on my level. Thus yesterday afternoon I found myself in a brand new Sunday School Class being bombarded with new people to meet … which was pretty exciting. It’s funny how you can go to a church for so long, leave a couple of years for college, and come back to so many new faces. One recurring theme in all of these faces, though, was that they did appear to be older than mine. That was okay though, at least I hadn’t stooped to the "single’s" class … where I was certain that the faces were ancient.
As my extravert powers were beginning to wear down, I ran into a girl that I happened to know was in the Single’s Class a couple of years ago. “Do you like this class better than the 'Single’s' Class?” I politely asked.
“Oh, this is the 'Single’s' Class. They just changed the named a couple of months ago to Career and Graduate’s because they thought the other was turning some people off.”
Well crap. They might be old and desperate, but they’re still sneaky … and I’m embarrassed to say that I fell right into their trap.
Emily Caldwell, current youngest member of the "Single’s Class" … but I must admit that the people seem pretty cool, and yes, I've even enjoyed it so far.
I have recently determined that since I will be residing in the B-ham, the time has come for me to become more actively involved in a church. Step number one in this process is to find a Sunday School class to consistently go to. As I discussed this with my mom, she suggested that I go to the "Single’s" Class.
“No mom,” I said in my ‘What are you? Crazy?’ voice, “I’m not 'Single'.” For those of you who are thinking, “Emily, this is not an absurd suggestion; you are single”, let me just explain this to you real quick: I might be single, but I’m not "Single". What’s the difference? Well, let me tell you … "Single" (and I quote from my personal dictionary) = 1. really old and 2. extremely desperate (note: this dictionary reserves the right to change the aforesaid definition on an individual basis).
“Well, why don’t you try the Career and Graduate’s Class.” Now there’s a class that’s more on my level. Thus yesterday afternoon I found myself in a brand new Sunday School Class being bombarded with new people to meet … which was pretty exciting. It’s funny how you can go to a church for so long, leave a couple of years for college, and come back to so many new faces. One recurring theme in all of these faces, though, was that they did appear to be older than mine. That was okay though, at least I hadn’t stooped to the "single’s" class … where I was certain that the faces were ancient.
As my extravert powers were beginning to wear down, I ran into a girl that I happened to know was in the Single’s Class a couple of years ago. “Do you like this class better than the 'Single’s' Class?” I politely asked.
“Oh, this is the 'Single’s' Class. They just changed the named a couple of months ago to Career and Graduate’s because they thought the other was turning some people off.”
Well crap. They might be old and desperate, but they’re still sneaky … and I’m embarrassed to say that I fell right into their trap.
Emily Caldwell, current youngest member of the "Single’s Class" … but I must admit that the people seem pretty cool, and yes, I've even enjoyed it so far.
posted by caldwell at 11:42 AM
3 Comments:
i'm pretty sure i'll be joining one of those "not-called-'single's group'-groups" pretty soon. it's going to be amazing. way to try and branch out. one way to stop the spread of Single's Disease is to encourage everyone to join in on "the bet." it would revolutionize . . . everything.
gilli- no more additions to the bet. who are you? i feel like i don't even know you anymore.
The power of "The Bet" has spread to south Florida, although its Terms and Conditions are slightly different down here. The question of who will get married first (me or Brien) has already been answered. Neither. The REAL question is who will die (as a single man) first.
A bit morbid, but a justified query in the land of 55+.
Watch out for the Singles Group. It's generally the Black Hole of most churches...
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