The Punishment for Working on the Sabbath …
Involves three dead mice, hundreds of fire ants, a bed of baby snakes, a broken shoe, a hornet’s nest, a lost set of keys, one very long car ride, and a whole lot of guilt.
Due to certain bills that must be paid, I added up some different numbers and decided that I needed to earn some where around $300 as soon as possible. Upon discussing this with my mom, she very generously suggested to pay me for various odd jobs that she had been meaning to do herself. Thus for the last couple of weeks, in between doing "life-job" stuff, I have been put to work doing things such as spreading bark, killing weeds, scrubbing baseboards, washing blinds, etc, etc.
On Saturday, my mom asked me to blow off the driveway. However, due to myth-breaking day, I wasn’t feeling the best so the driveway was left neglected. When Sunday came, I had some spare time and so decided to it then.
The day was beautiful, perfect weather, and I was thoroughly enjoying my time with the Vomtex Vacuum-Blower System. I was just beginning to think that maybe it would fun to get a job blowing off people’s driveways when a series of disasters took place …
1. I was off in another world, a world where I got paid a whole lot of money for my expert driveway-blowing skills, when suddenly I felt something on my left leg. My left foot was right in the middle of a huge fire ant bed … and I was wearing flipflops.
2. Several minutes later, I was back to work using my left hand to scratch my foot while my right held the blower. At the back of my house there are some air conditioning units, behind which a whole lot of leaves had accumulated. I began to attack these leaves, when I suddenly saw something fly into the air (don’t doubt the power of the Vomtex) that resembled a huge earth worm. It was kind of pinkish and just longer than a foot ... it was a baby snake. As I continued to blow it away from me, I saw something else moving in the leaves. There were two more baby snakes in the leaves ... three total.
3. Since I was standing in the snake-harboring pile of leaves, it occurred to me that mama snake might not be far so I moved away from the leaves as quickly as possible. Somehow, though, in the process I tripped a little and broke my flipflop.
4. Throughout the day, I uncovered three dead, probably 70% decayed mice. Thankyou Hector.
5. I was on the home stretch, when the Vomtex, in all its glory, hit a hornet’s nest. Luckily I only got stung once.
6. Finally I finished, and though I had some wounds, the driveway looked amazing, and I was slightly proud of my work. My mom came home, and I was bragging over my adventures of the day, when someone said the word “keys” and a horrible thought hit me. Earlier I had gotten my dad’s set of keys (which he keeps here when he goes out of the country to be certain that they are safe) from my mom to move the cars and then use the power of the Vomtex on the garage. When I finished with the keys, I vividly remember setting them on top of the back of Whitney’s car … and she had driven away about an hour ago to go to a party.
7. Though my mom was extremely nice about it, I could see the anger and worry seething inside of her. We jumped into the car and drove over the route that Whitney’s car had taken. This involved my mom and I in her car driving down the highway at about 20 mph with our heads out of the windows looking for the keys. Needless to say, there was a trail of extremely frustrated cars behind us.
8. We still haven’t found the keys. Included in this set of keys were the keys to everyone’s car but mine, our house key, and a few other keys that I have know idea what are for but I’m sure are very important. Worse case scenario: someone else found the keys on the side of the road, and within the next week we will be robbed of everything we have except for my car … ouch, the guilt. More likely scenario: I will have to pay to replace all the keys … which comes to an extremely ironic sum of $300.
Involves three dead mice, hundreds of fire ants, a bed of baby snakes, a broken shoe, a hornet’s nest, a lost set of keys, one very long car ride, and a whole lot of guilt.
Due to certain bills that must be paid, I added up some different numbers and decided that I needed to earn some where around $300 as soon as possible. Upon discussing this with my mom, she very generously suggested to pay me for various odd jobs that she had been meaning to do herself. Thus for the last couple of weeks, in between doing "life-job" stuff, I have been put to work doing things such as spreading bark, killing weeds, scrubbing baseboards, washing blinds, etc, etc.
On Saturday, my mom asked me to blow off the driveway. However, due to myth-breaking day, I wasn’t feeling the best so the driveway was left neglected. When Sunday came, I had some spare time and so decided to it then.
The day was beautiful, perfect weather, and I was thoroughly enjoying my time with the Vomtex Vacuum-Blower System. I was just beginning to think that maybe it would fun to get a job blowing off people’s driveways when a series of disasters took place …
1. I was off in another world, a world where I got paid a whole lot of money for my expert driveway-blowing skills, when suddenly I felt something on my left leg. My left foot was right in the middle of a huge fire ant bed … and I was wearing flipflops.
2. Several minutes later, I was back to work using my left hand to scratch my foot while my right held the blower. At the back of my house there are some air conditioning units, behind which a whole lot of leaves had accumulated. I began to attack these leaves, when I suddenly saw something fly into the air (don’t doubt the power of the Vomtex) that resembled a huge earth worm. It was kind of pinkish and just longer than a foot ... it was a baby snake. As I continued to blow it away from me, I saw something else moving in the leaves. There were two more baby snakes in the leaves ... three total.
3. Since I was standing in the snake-harboring pile of leaves, it occurred to me that mama snake might not be far so I moved away from the leaves as quickly as possible. Somehow, though, in the process I tripped a little and broke my flipflop.
4. Throughout the day, I uncovered three dead, probably 70% decayed mice. Thankyou Hector.
5. I was on the home stretch, when the Vomtex, in all its glory, hit a hornet’s nest. Luckily I only got stung once.
6. Finally I finished, and though I had some wounds, the driveway looked amazing, and I was slightly proud of my work. My mom came home, and I was bragging over my adventures of the day, when someone said the word “keys” and a horrible thought hit me. Earlier I had gotten my dad’s set of keys (which he keeps here when he goes out of the country to be certain that they are safe) from my mom to move the cars and then use the power of the Vomtex on the garage. When I finished with the keys, I vividly remember setting them on top of the back of Whitney’s car … and she had driven away about an hour ago to go to a party.
7. Though my mom was extremely nice about it, I could see the anger and worry seething inside of her. We jumped into the car and drove over the route that Whitney’s car had taken. This involved my mom and I in her car driving down the highway at about 20 mph with our heads out of the windows looking for the keys. Needless to say, there was a trail of extremely frustrated cars behind us.
8. We still haven’t found the keys. Included in this set of keys were the keys to everyone’s car but mine, our house key, and a few other keys that I have know idea what are for but I’m sure are very important. Worse case scenario: someone else found the keys on the side of the road, and within the next week we will be robbed of everything we have except for my car … ouch, the guilt. More likely scenario: I will have to pay to replace all the keys … which comes to an extremely ironic sum of $300.
posted by caldwell at 8:04 AM
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