Cheers for the beginning of the Caldwell family ...
Today is my parents 28th anniversary; congratulations Mom and Dad.
Due to the fact that my Dad is still in Russia, he called me last week, told me where he had hidden a present for my mom (it was in his closet ... always a good hiding place), asked me to give it to her today, and asked me to get some flowers for her as well. Thus yesterday, the day before the big day, I waited patiently for the time when I could sneak out and get her some flowers. The time finally came when at about 3:00 my mom realized that she was missing an ingredient for the chicken dish that she was making. I jumped on the opportunity and offered to run to Walmart and grab the one m.i. (missing ingredient), which happened to be chopped dates.
However, before I had made it out of the door, my family had put together a list of “necessary” items that were needed asap, and Whitney came with me so that she could drop off something at a friend’s house, promising that this would involve no socializing. About forty-five minutes later, thirty of which I spent in the car in the blistering heat while Whitney “quickly” ran something to her friend, we arrived at Wal-Mart. I was determined that this would be a quick trip. Thus before we had walked through the entrance, I had mapped out and explained to Whitney the quickest route which would allow us to get all the items on our list in the shortest amount of time. It was Mission Wal-Mart, and I was positive we could make it out in less than five minutes.
We stuck to the “map” and were on schedule for a total of about 30 seconds. The first stop on the “map” was the flowers, which I soon found was bad planning on my part. As I whisked down the aisles, the flowers began to look more and more fragile. This combined with the fact that it happened to be Wal-Mart’s rush hour caused me to have to slow my normal “quick-trip-speed” down a considerable amount. Add to this Whitney’s constant thinking of things not on the list that we “needed”, and we might as well have not even made a mental map. One of the things that Whitney thought we most desperately needed was some flavored water. Now let’s be honest, has anyone in the history of mankind ever needed flavored water? However, she was insistent so we wasted a good 5 minutes staring at the different flavors of water. After this time had passed I made the decision that no such amount of time should ever be spent looking at water, flavored or not. But as Whitney had only been able to narrow it down to her favorite four flavors, we compromised. We would get a case of each of the four flavors so long as we could leave right then.
Finally we were on our way to the checkout stand, when we came upon a big rubber-like tube laying on the floor. Since it looked like rubber, I decided to pick up the pace and that when the cart made contact with the tube, the tube would just flatten and we would role over it. Well, the tube was found to be more resilient than expect, and my speed-up plan resulted in me and the cart bouncing off the tube in the opposite direction of the checkout lines. After several other attempts to cross the tube, a Wal-Mart worker kindly came up to me and explained that the tube was running all the way across the store and that the only way to get passed it was to pick up my cart and carry it over the tube. The Wal-Mart employee then proceeded to walk away as I picked up the grocery cart, packed with four cases flavored water and other items that my family was in desperate need of, and climbed with it over the tube.
By now I had given up all hope on our quick trip; Mission Wal-Mart had failed. But the checkout lines were in sight so that the thought of being able leave outweighed my frustration. At that very moment, when we were so close to the end ... I could see outside and almost feel the wind on my face ... at that very moment, I realized that we had forgotten the dates ... the dates that were the original reason we were here, the dates on the other end of the store, several aisles past the evil tube and past hundreds of slow-walking old people ....
Today my mom got her flowers and her present, and she loved them both. And for lunch, the whole family ate her favorite chicken dish ... with a plentitude of chopped dates. And now, I think I might just go have myself a flavored water. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad; I love y'all.
Today is my parents 28th anniversary; congratulations Mom and Dad.
Due to the fact that my Dad is still in Russia, he called me last week, told me where he had hidden a present for my mom (it was in his closet ... always a good hiding place), asked me to give it to her today, and asked me to get some flowers for her as well. Thus yesterday, the day before the big day, I waited patiently for the time when I could sneak out and get her some flowers. The time finally came when at about 3:00 my mom realized that she was missing an ingredient for the chicken dish that she was making. I jumped on the opportunity and offered to run to Walmart and grab the one m.i. (missing ingredient), which happened to be chopped dates.
However, before I had made it out of the door, my family had put together a list of “necessary” items that were needed asap, and Whitney came with me so that she could drop off something at a friend’s house, promising that this would involve no socializing. About forty-five minutes later, thirty of which I spent in the car in the blistering heat while Whitney “quickly” ran something to her friend, we arrived at Wal-Mart. I was determined that this would be a quick trip. Thus before we had walked through the entrance, I had mapped out and explained to Whitney the quickest route which would allow us to get all the items on our list in the shortest amount of time. It was Mission Wal-Mart, and I was positive we could make it out in less than five minutes.
We stuck to the “map” and were on schedule for a total of about 30 seconds. The first stop on the “map” was the flowers, which I soon found was bad planning on my part. As I whisked down the aisles, the flowers began to look more and more fragile. This combined with the fact that it happened to be Wal-Mart’s rush hour caused me to have to slow my normal “quick-trip-speed” down a considerable amount. Add to this Whitney’s constant thinking of things not on the list that we “needed”, and we might as well have not even made a mental map. One of the things that Whitney thought we most desperately needed was some flavored water. Now let’s be honest, has anyone in the history of mankind ever needed flavored water? However, she was insistent so we wasted a good 5 minutes staring at the different flavors of water. After this time had passed I made the decision that no such amount of time should ever be spent looking at water, flavored or not. But as Whitney had only been able to narrow it down to her favorite four flavors, we compromised. We would get a case of each of the four flavors so long as we could leave right then.
Finally we were on our way to the checkout stand, when we came upon a big rubber-like tube laying on the floor. Since it looked like rubber, I decided to pick up the pace and that when the cart made contact with the tube, the tube would just flatten and we would role over it. Well, the tube was found to be more resilient than expect, and my speed-up plan resulted in me and the cart bouncing off the tube in the opposite direction of the checkout lines. After several other attempts to cross the tube, a Wal-Mart worker kindly came up to me and explained that the tube was running all the way across the store and that the only way to get passed it was to pick up my cart and carry it over the tube. The Wal-Mart employee then proceeded to walk away as I picked up the grocery cart, packed with four cases flavored water and other items that my family was in desperate need of, and climbed with it over the tube.
By now I had given up all hope on our quick trip; Mission Wal-Mart had failed. But the checkout lines were in sight so that the thought of being able leave outweighed my frustration. At that very moment, when we were so close to the end ... I could see outside and almost feel the wind on my face ... at that very moment, I realized that we had forgotten the dates ... the dates that were the original reason we were here, the dates on the other end of the store, several aisles past the evil tube and past hundreds of slow-walking old people ....
Today my mom got her flowers and her present, and she loved them both. And for lunch, the whole family ate her favorite chicken dish ... with a plentitude of chopped dates. And now, I think I might just go have myself a flavored water. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad; I love y'all.
posted by caldwell at 4:46 PM
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